I was talking to a male friend the other night and mentioned that I had a date with a co-worker who finally grew a pair and asked me out. My dear, dear, macho friend said that it was a bad idea to go out with him, because if I had really liked this guy, I wouldn’t have cared how he asked me out. I would be happy watching a movie on his laptop on our lunch break while eating the candy my job has out for the customers just to be around him. And I told my friend, that is just plain BS!!!!!! And here’s why.
I mean, maybe back when I was twelve, googly eyed, and clueless, I didn’t care if I was watching my crush practice baseball while I sat in the freezing cold on the bleachers hoping for a wave or a smile. I didn’t care if our first date was going to be at the arcade with his friends and being bored so he could hold my hands for five minutes in between playing his next game. I didn’t care about sitting in the break-room at his job at K-mart during his lunch break while we watched CNN on the TV and ate frozen dinners is mom bought him just because I had a crush on him and wanted to be near him. So before puberty happened, that logic rang true to me.
I am a woman now, damn it, and you will impress me! You will take me out. And you will ask me out the way I think you should. Or else. You will hear it. If not now, then down the road when we are innocently eating dinner you will get a backhanded comment about that cheap first date with you and your buds. Or when we hang out with friends I will give a sarcastic comment about how our first few dates was watching your “Godfather” DVD’s at your house. And when you show me your new XBox, I will mutter how you must’ve saved money from our extravagant, expensive first date of eating Doritos in your garage listening to your band’s demo. And when someone else comes along offering to treat me the way I want to be treated, you won’t hear anything, cuz my ass will just be gone.
And I don’t care if you’re the hottest, richest, most endowed, intelligent and charming combination of Matt Bomer, Daniel Craig, and Kayne West. Shit, you best put your best foot forward. Impress me. Tell me you want to take me out, let me dress up and we go out and (try!) to enjoy each other’s company. Dating 101! I KNOW I am not interested if you are not capable of that. I’m not just makin up hoops for you to jump through cuz I don’t like you! If I don’t like you, I
ignore you won’t go out with you.
But guys seem to think they can get away with not doing that because they’re all that (calm down, you’re not). Or they’re too scared of rejection and try to do the imaskingyououtbutnotreallyunlessyousayyes approach. Go hard or go home.
Because we all know it’s downhill from there, so please let’s at least start at the top.