My favorite flirting tactic of all time has to be when a guy asks me for something. Um, being in my presence isn’t gift enough? How do dudes thinks it’s okay to just ask you for ish when they are tryin to get at you? I thought YOU were tryin to impress me! I didn’t ask you to come up to me and get my number, or start some stupid small talk at the gas station, or even interrupt my shopping with your thinly veiled ogling. Now that you got my attention, you gotta work to keep it.
Examples of the exact OPPOSITE:
One time, a co-worker gave me a free pizza. It was extra and he wanted to be nice. Nice. Later, when I was bragging about it on the phone with an interested dude, he asked if he could have it. Seriously? I didn’t bring it up to give it to you, I brought it up to show you how people like giving me stuff. Hint, hint. (Obviously that hint didn’t work).
I remember this other dude from work asked me last Christmas what I had gotten him. Bitch, what you getting me? Another time, before going out on a date with a dude, we were talkin on the phone and I told him I was at 7-11. And he asked me to buy him a bag of chips to bring to the date. WTF? Are you kidding me? I didn’t know you were supposed to bring gifts to dates now. We’re supposed to pay/gift/grovel for attention and compliments now? When did this happen? Keep it if that’s what it takes. I don’t need your attentions or compliments. Every morning I look in the mirror and tell myself that I’m a sexy beast. For free. For fun. I’m not desperate for attention because I get it all the time. Ergo, I don’t have to work for it. Get it? Got it? Good.
So when the dude asked me if I was bringin the chips to our date, after my silence, I told him I was bringin myself, bitch, and that was gonna be a mouthful in and of itself. Sidenote- this is called flirting. Learn it, live it, love it. He obviously needed a lesson or two on that.
I get that some of you are kidding, while others are tryin to test someone and others are well, really just trying to get free shit. If you’re doing it to flirt, knock it the fuck off! We both knew he didn’t care about the bag of chips. He was flirting. Badly. He thought it was cute. It wasn’t.
This also goes back to first impressions. You already askin for dumb shit in the first few interactions I have with you. What other dumb shit are you gonna ask for down the road? And this flirting tactic shows your ass- You thinking about what you gonna get outta this. And this homie don’t play that! It should, and will be, all about me!
Boys are supposed to give and women receive. You give it and we take it. That’s why boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. And that’s what it really boils down to, isn’t it?