The Drive By

Published April 20, 2012 by bossymoksie

I get that men have the burden of rejection when asking us out. I get that it’s sometimes hard and exhausting. I don’t care. It’s exhausting putting you in line. And many girls have the burden of feeling rejection after giving it up too soon. So I hear. So take it like a man and open your mouth and ask me if I’d like to hang out with you in a restaurant where you pay at a future date.

I don’t get the quasi-let’s-hang-but-it-may-or-may-not-be-a-date-depending-on-whether-you-say-yes. It’s fear. It’s half-assed. Do you wanna half-assed fuck me? Didn’t think so. Then ask me out.

I work in customer service. I’m supposed to help people but secretly I’m just there to look good for my public. A co-worker of mine has been trying to work me since I started. Telling me jokes. Asking me questions. So far so good. Especially if you’re actually funny. Which he was. He finds out through another co-worker that I’m single. Then makes a big deal about how if he had known sooner, he would have asked me out. Which would’ve been a good time to actually ask me out. He doesn’t. Life goes on.

Then at the end of his shift, he clocks out then quickly walks by me on his way to the exit doors and says, “We gonna go out, okay. Somewhere really nice.” Then he runs out before I even realize he was talking to me.


Um,  I know that wasn’t a question. I’m not sure what that was, but that wasn’t asking me out on a date. Because now- what? I’m supposed to follow up with him and ask him when? I have to track him down now? Or check to see if, in fact, he really did ask me out? The ball’s in my court now? I don’t fuckin think so. And my friends say, oh you know what he meant, he asked you out, blah blah blah blah blah. No bitches. What I do know is that if a dude really likes you and has a pair, he will say, I am taking you out, this is when and this is where. There is no doubt what is going on. The only words that should be coming out of my mouth is “hells yeah!” not “um, are we gonna go out cuz I have nothing better to do on a Friday night, and am desperate and no one wants me so I’m following you around hoping you’ll give me 30 minutes of attention this weekend”. No!

What you dudes fail to realize is that your first encounters with us reveal a LOT about how the dating and relationship will go down. (Just like first impressions in a job interview. You wouldn’t show up in jeans and a ripped T-shirt saying that you kinda sort of want to get a paycheck, would you. Would you?) How am I so sure? Experience. So now, I’m thinking, what else is he gonna half- ass that I’m gonna have to step up to make sure it’s done right? Gifts? Promises? Giving me money? And most importantly, sex? The next time I saw that dude I didn’t mention anything and neither did he. So I was right, nothing did happen.


7 comments on “The Drive By

  • “What you dudes fail to realize is that your first encounters with us reveal a LOT about how the dating and relationship will go down.” – bossy

    I don’t think your ‘drive by’ failed to realize. I think you got *told* how it was going to go down.

    Not to worry. He’s over the horizon. Forget him.

    • So weird that you commented on this story because I just did a vlog based on this story!
      I know I didn’t miss out on anything, I just thought this story was funny and could write a lesson or two to other guys based on it.

  • Bossy, I am driven to facepalm.

    I’m trying to be comforting, while truthful. I’m not very good at it, I know.

    LIttle one, you have done a blog post and vlog post? These are proof that you never understood what I’ve tried to tell you from the very first.

    What is done is so loud that what you say can’t be heard. You just did your part in convincing men that doing ‘drive-bys’ is the way to go. Please, forget that guy!

    • I got the comforting part of your comment, I just didn’t need it which is why I didn’t address it. This guy is just a joke to me, not anything more or less. I shot the vlog before I saw your comment, that’s why I thought it was a weird coincidence that someone randomly checked out this much older post and commented on it.
      You can put the facepalm away.

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